Ocean's

I'm not so sure I trust these oriental food stores. These Chinese to English translations have questionable meanings, I know it. A couple of my favorites:

"Happy Swallow" (noodles)

"Cock Soup" (chicken broth)

"Horny Goat" (Chinese tea - meant to enhance fertility)

"Turkey Balls" (frozen, breaded turkey nuggets)

Never have I seen another language that had "fried children(chicken)" on their menu. Seems a little grim, to be honest.

Now, I'm not one to judge Asians - don't get me wrong.  I just think they need to get their minds out of the gutter. =P

Anticipation

Well, the days are closing in, and I'm getting nearer to preparing for my show. 22 days. It's going to be a long, ridiculous 16 weeks of eating nothing but celery, wood chips, and some chicken breast.

Well. At least that's what all my food is going to taste like, anyway.

And then those will be glorious times. My body will most likely have no weight by the time I'm stepping on stage, in which case I will be floating around the ceiling and entering the door to my house via the mail slip. I may even disappear completely.

.....eerie.

However, I'm determined to make the most out of all of this, and keep people updated on all the emotional rollercoasters I'll be crashing about during that time frame. I'm just a little frightened of perhaps losing my mind, internal organs, or anything else very close and dear to me.

Don't worry though, it really isn't all as bad as it sounds. However, I won't be eating junk food for 6 months. And then I will have pizza backstage...it's going to be the best fucking pizza I've ever tasted.

But then, let's just see if I survive all of it first.

No One's Ever Satisfied...

I miss the times when life was simple.

And all I thought about was, "Hey, I'd love a job so I can get money and afford things I want." That would solve all my problems. ALL of them.

So I'm sitting here now...with a job...and I had to sacrifice all my time just so I can make sure I keep it. I get up at 5am, work till 8, have school until 3, work until 5pm, hit the gym, get back home and eat, work another couple of hours, and I'm in bed by 9-9:30. BAM. That's my life at the moment.

Ever wonder why I don't call you as often as I say I will/should? Now you know.

Oh, the things we do for paper. *sigh*

Facepalm

Mom: *hands me a new water bottle* I'm going to my room now, but before you go to the gym let me show you how to use it.

Me: Uhh....it's just a water bottle, I don't think it's rocket science. See. *opens cap, pushes down button on top* There. Open.

Mom: Okay.

10 minutes later...

Me: *pushes down button on top, tries to drink, and spills the water all over herself*  WHAT the FUCK!

Mom: *points to label on the side which says, "do not attempt to drink directly from cap"*

Me: ...........................................

Mom: I could have told you that.

2010 - Big Plans? Not Sure.

My plans (so far) for 2010:

- Rock the figure stage on June 5, win a trophy, and eat some pizza.

....and I'm trying to plan out the rest. So far, that's as far ahead as I can see, unfortunately. Let's just get past this competition, and then figure out other things from there.

New Year's Eve party was completely insane. I got raped by several women, and sang karaoke with a bunch of drunkards.

I hope everyone else had a smashing time.  <3